Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
