glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
