they need to just BURY HIM!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
