if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
