You're completely useless in the revolution.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
