so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want to be your penis for a week.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
