This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize