At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
