have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
