Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Green mimosas i think yes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
