Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
