if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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