and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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