did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
We smell like vodka and hangover
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
