Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You don't make any sense
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