Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
