Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
