I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
