It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
