I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
