Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
