I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
