shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
