Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
