I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
