The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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