Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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