Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
