I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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