he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
