How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
