Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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