and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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