If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize