Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
