Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
