More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize