We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
