I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
