just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
