Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
