So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
