I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
