We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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