i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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