I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
