Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
