is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
