He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
