I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
