i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
