is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
