Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
