Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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