I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
