OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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