READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
