Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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