Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
