i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The feeling are messing with the penis
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize