My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
