I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
