You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
