Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
