Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
