yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
