Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
