This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
