Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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