So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize