Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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