are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
