In America we eat man semen.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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