my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
