glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
