I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
