guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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