she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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